Organised by Andrew with Michelle, this was a day long workshop in Kaliwoods on a warm summer day in August, to see clearly both grief and connection and reconnect with natural systems. Rooted by Joanna Macy , Andrew has recently completed his facilitation training, and this was his first workshop.
The very first and very last conversation are what remains and resonates with me. First I was with Zanda, walking talking answering a question, how are we part of the existing system, he made two points. They were both forgiving. The first was the dominance and importance of our conditioning, and I thought back to when I was a child my mother used to curse clover in the back lawn in fact once we bought a chemical to kill it, for a lawn was deemed ugly and imperfect with clover in it. That was my conditioning, to dislike clover, but now 50 years later I have planted red clover in my field. Reconditioning is possible and I’m amazed to recognise this difference in myself. The second was we’d be naive not to consider ourselves as part of the system, we were the machine. And so could change the machine/system
I chose Zanda and Kim as the two people to be equi-distant from in the game on the field.
The last conversation was in a small group of 3, reminding me how powerful small groups are. We talked of loss. Alice loosing her grandchild (temporarily in Southwold), with consequent feelings of guilt, which contrasted with if I loose a spade I find myself blaming someone else (Who has moved or taken my spade? and it is probably me). How does this relate to other losses, like immigration, climate change? the difference between blaming self and blaming others.
I resonated with Kim’s sharing of the feeling of not having time.
The declaration I made at the end was the profound feeling of fear and sadness about the impending death of so many old oaks in my wood together with their thousands of seeds I see on the ground this year, unformed. Those mighty elders, the kings of the wood are suffering. Can I imagine a world without them?
…
I recognise you, I said to the man getting out of the car with Michelle.
Yes, you know each other said Michelle.
Jonathan Chapman, son of Michael Chapman. It must have been 30+ years since I had seen him. Ah yes, the numbers. Michael is now 92 (!) Hilary late 80’s, and Jonathan, with 5 children between the ages of 7 to 20. I must have been 20 when I met Michael, and now 67, I see the difference in years between us is 25, which was enormous then.
Just the other day, I was recalling the story and wondering as I told it how Michael would tell it, and if I remembered correctly and if that in fact mattered. I found an honesty thread running thought it, which gave it impressive strength.
Jonathan’s painting in my office
Watching the closing of the Olympic games with Yuka.
Kaliwood 